Check out the babe I photogiraffed today. And only now, after viewing this on my Mac, do I see wee faults in my edit. I was tipsy while editing and my dad’s computer is lame so shut up and leave me alone!
"The audience thinks it’s the character’s feelings, but really it’s my feelings, all coming out in a rush."
- Tony Leung.
One of the many reasons why being an actor is the only thing that I will ever be able to do competently.
And it saddens me that his face is not on mine. UGH I’M SUCH A SKEEZE!
My friend told me I should audition with her while asking me to write a character reference for her to give them. I’d love to, but holy shit I am in no way ready for anything like this. They’re going to be in Melbourne in March. I’m wondering if I should audition just to get a new taste of my dream so I feel more motivated to do something about it. Ugh! The nerves. And I haven’t even made up my mind. I just want to cry.
I could do that. I could do that real good. I WANT TO BE A BRUTALLY MURDERED BACKPACKER IN A SHITTY AUSTRALIAN HORROR MOVIE!
Why did I have to grow up in Adelaide? Why couldn’t I have been born in England?! Why don’t I live there now? Where are all my qualifications?! Oh right …
Why did I let people make me think that it would be too hard for me to get into the industry I love, and that I should therefore focus on a more “realistic career” to “fall back on”. Most people said this to me more than once and far more than I needed it. I knew what I was going to be getting myself into. I would have been fine if they only said it once each. Not at all would have been appreciated too. It gradually just wore me down and I almost felt like I wasn’t allowed to even try.
What’s so unrealistic about working as an actor anyway? It may be a super competitive industry to break into, but it seems like a pretty legitimate career to me.
AND THE WORD CAREER! OH MY NAAN BREAD! I know I used it in a post recently, but I DESPISE THE VERY ESSENCE OF THAT WORD!
This has been a post of regret, anger, depression and bitterness and it finished suddenly because I didn’t want to mope anymore.
"I’ve always been really in touch with my primal instincts. In my profession you have to be. You have to be open to going where your emotions take you. Acting is a sort of pressure cooker that allows the fizz to come out the top. God knows what I’d be like if I didn’t have that. Even more animal, perhaps."
- Andy Serkis
I just finished watching ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats’.
I have to say, this movie has affected me deeply. I appreciate everything about it. Everything:
The work in rehearsal
The work to get the licences
The work to get the casting polished
The requirement of the budget
The perfomances from everyone;the actors, the director, the sound, the editing, the lighting, the entire motherflippin’ production crew) …
It has inspired me. It has recaptured my very love of dramatic art. Many things, such as Doctor Who and David Tennant’s madskillz, remind me of what I’ve always wanted to do, but this movie really cleansed my mind and helped me to see what I never should have given up on.
It has helped me to see what I was missing as an actor. I lacked the confidence to lose myself in a character. I always held myself back because I worried what people would think of me if I went all the way in. I worried what I might look like. My feelings about my appearence and my weight have always held me back. I really need to fight through all my demons so I can relish in my first and foremost passion, acting. I can find a way to get through anything, can’t I?
I need to face my social fears. I need to be strong. I need to be passionate. I need to love life. I need to live.